A very distinguished elderly man goes to the doctor for a physical. After taking off his clothes and donning a gown, he sits on the bed in the exam room, waiting for the doctor to come in. After a couple of minutes, he feels like he needs to pass wind, so he leans to one side and, to his absolute horror, his fart turns out to be diarrhea. Mortified at the thought of having anyone find out that he has crapped on the bed, he strips off the dirty sheet and frantically searches for a place to hide it. Unable to find a dirty linen hamper, he goes to the window and tosses the sheet out. The sheet falls six stories to land on a drunk who happened to be stumbling down the sidewalk. Draped with the dirty sheet, the drunk screams and begins struggling wildly to get loose. He falls against the building and rolls around on the sidewalk, leaving a trail of diarrhea. When he finally gets the sheet off him, the drunk stands looking at the crowd that has gathered to watch. At last, a security guard comes running up, surveys the scene, and asks the drunk, "What the hell is going on here?"

The drunk looks around at the mess and says, "I'm not sure.....I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost!"

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"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last." Winston Churchill