Kinda cheesy......most of ya'll have probably heard this one:

A drunk comes in to a bar and orders a drink. After a few minutes, he takes a small piano out of his briefcase and sets it on the bar. Then he pulls a little man (who is less than a foot tall) out of his coat pocket and sets him at the piano. The bartender watches with amazement as the tiny man begins to play the little piano. Finally, the bartender comes over, and pointing to the little piano player, asks the drunk, "Where did you get that little guy and the piano?" The drunk says, "I have a genie right here in a bottle" which he pulls from his briefcase. "He gave them to me."

The bartender says, "Do you think he'll grant me a wish"

The drunk says, "Sure, ask for anything!"

The bartender rubs the bottle and as the genie appears, says, "I want a million bucks!"

Suddenly, there is a clap of thunder...the genie disappears and hundreds of ducks begin falling from the ceiling. The bartender says, "What's wrong with your genie? Is he stupid?"

The drunk says, "No, he just a little hard of hearing.....you didn't think I asked him for a 10 inch pianist, did you?"

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"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last." Winston Churchill