Guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.'

The social worker behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges.

You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.

The salary is $200,000 a year.

The guy, wide-eyed, said, 'You're bullshittin' me!'

The social worker said, 'Yeah, well . . . you started it...

Oddly enough people on Welfare/Dole actually do want to work-certainly in Britian. Theres a few who don't but a majority do. Usually the problem is that there is: A) no work
B) they feel the works below them (Can't sympathise with this)

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I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire

There is no instance of a country having benefited from prolonged warfare. - Art of War, Sun-Tzu, Chapter 2, Paragraph 6

"An eye for an eye makes everyone blind"-Gandi

Also shouldn't this be in jokes?

Shouldn't this be moved?

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"Jesus said: I have cast fire upon the world, and behold I guard it until it is ablaze."
Gospel of Thomas

That's funny. I'll have to email this one around.

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A nation of slaves is always prepared to applaud the clemency of their master who, in the abuse of absolute power, does not proceed to the utmost extremes of injustice and oppression.
Edward Gibbon

Reagan used to tell the following joke:

There was a business man who would stop at the pretzel vendor outside his building every morning on his way to work. Pretzels were 25 cents, and every day he would drop a quarter in the vendor's jar and would walk into the building without taking a pretzel.

This went on for a couple of years, until one day, he dropped his usual quarter in the jar and the vendor stopped him.

"I bet you want to know why I have been dropping a quarter in your jar every day and not taking a pretzel" the man said

"No", replied the pretzel vendor, "I just wanted to tell you the pretzels are 50 cents now"

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"It's a good feeling to shoot a bad guy. Something you democrats would never understand. Americans are homesteaders, we want a safe home, keep the money we make, and shoot bad guys!"

----Denny Crane