Maxine’s Three Problems:

–Illegal Immigration

–Hurricane Recovery

–Alligators Attacking People in Florida

Maxine’s Three Solutions:

–Dig a moat the length of the Mexican Border

–Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees

–Put the Florida Alligators in the moat along the Mexican Border

Any other problems you’d like Maxine to solve for you today?

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"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

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"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

Maxine:
"How do you prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out"

"If there's a Tourist Season why can't we shoot them?"

"I hear you changed your mind at last... what did you do with the diaper?"

"You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement immediately."

"Before you came along were just hungry... now we're fed up!"

"If you have something to say, raise your hand, and put it over your mouth."

Maxine is great!

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"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

Maxine for Congress!

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January 21, 2013: The End of an ERROR.

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become more corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters."
"When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic."
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself."
---Benjamin Franklin