So, I was smoking a cigarette on my balcony the other day and I thought "Man, I bet you if we could hear it, the Sun would be really fucking loud." (yes, I swear it was a regular cigarette). So, I hopped on the internet to seek an answer to how loud the Sun would be and unsurprisingly, many others had wondered the same thing. The consensus? The Sun would be really fucking loud. I'm a genius, I know.

If we were to suspend the unnecessary parts of science for a moment (which is quite lot) and gave the sound from the sun a medium to move through (we'll go with air) the sound of the Sun would be so loud the pressure from the sound waves would kill you instantly.

So, I furthered my intensive scientific research to the world's greatest source of completely factual and peer reviewed information: YouTube.

I present to you: The sound of the sun.
Don't worry, the sound won't kill you, it's been sped up so it can actually be heard by human ears.

I then decided to turn my ears towards the other heavenly bodies, so I could enjoy the galactic cacophony of eerie planetary siren songs without dying in a vacuum.

Our own planet sounds pretty mundane: The sound of Earth.
Nothing to special about it. In fact, I doubt it would even break the Solar System Top 10 chart, which is pretty bad since there are only eight planets. Thank God we have humans picking up the slack for our completely talentless planet.

Next up on my interplanetary talent scouting tour was Saturn: The sound of Saturn.
I don't think I like Saturn anymore after hearing this. It's like the sound of a million dead alien souls screaming in eternal agony for committing the darkest alien sins imaginable. You'd think with Saturn's most notable feature it would have more of a ringing sound to it, not sound like Satan's personal choir of despair.

So, I slowly and cautiously backed out of that creepy part of the solar system and went onto the next big guy: The sound of Jupiter.
I think we have a winner! Jupiter is pretty much the Enya of space. Not saying I'm a huge fan of Enya (I'm a gigantic fan!) but compared to the deadly sound of the Sun, the underwhelming Jenny Jones house band sounds of the Earth and the flat out pants wetting creepiness of Saturn, Jupiter is actually kind of soothing. If I had absolutely no dignity, I could imagine myself lighting some candles, lowering the lights and having a relaxing bubble bath to the smooth tunes of Jupiter.

No wonder it's, like, the favorite place for moons to hang out.

Pointless thread over.

I thought you were giving up smokes.

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All things serve The Beam

That would obviously be a severe blow to science if I did.

And healthcare for children too, with the latest tax on tobacco.

haha great thread speak

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"My country is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine

Speak, there's no way you weren't completely baked...

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Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings...

I rather like Saturn. Like the music from Forbidden Planet.

The actual sound of the surface of the sun transmitted through it's own atmosphere heats that atmosphere to some millions of degrees, making it glow and giving it the name of coronasphere. This glowing atmosphere is one of the more striking features of a total solar eclipse, the only naturally occurring time it can be seen.

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Alizee Jacotay, the reason god invented hips

IT'S ON YOUTUBE, IT MUST BE TRUE

No commentary on what I was doing before the cigarette.

It would be interesting to spend an hour or two in your mind. I'd be afraid to stay any longer than that.

The sounds of the Sun & the planets... can you say "concept album"? Speakeasy, you're a genius!

You would probably have the urge to join the Olympic Swim Team, right after you ate everything in your pantry.

I'm only guessing.

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"Many people today believe that cynicism requires courage. Actually, cynicism is the height of cowardice. It is innocence and open-heartedness that requires the true courage - however often we are hurt by it." - Erica Jong

Ever seen "The Cell"?
Hell yea! Fuck you, Gustav Holst, my planet album is going to feature the actual fucking planets! (actually, I'm way ahead of you, I've already sampled Jupiter)
Doesn't the Olympic swim team require all sorts of moving?

I figured as much!

I think so. And speedos..

Terri, nevermind. I think I got that wrong. I meant the Olympic synchronized swim team.

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"Many people today believe that cynicism requires courage. Actually, cynicism is the height of cowardice. It is innocence and open-heartedness that requires the true courage - however often we are hurt by it." - Erica Jong

It's strange playing Jupiter on a keyboard. I'm wondering if I should rip off those "Cats Meow Christmas Songs" albums and come out with a series of CDs with Jupiter covering the classics. Heck, maybe I should get the Sun in as the bassist and have Saturn sing some wailing vocals and I'd have a band that's out of this world! Rimshot!
Cut the crap, Miranda, we both know full well you mean the Special Olympics!