If zombies have sex, is it still necrophilia?

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"Jesus said: I have cast fire upon the world, and behold I guard it until it is ablaze."
Gospel of Thomas

Nope, it's "Assault with a Dead Weapon".

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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk ks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, &and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!

And; last, but not least!
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

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Only a liberal would know how hard it is to get a nicotine patch to stick to a monkey.

I win!!!! I ignored it the longest!!!!!

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UGH!!!! I just have no willpower!!!!!!

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"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

Mrs. M, I think you've done the MOST ignoring of this thread. You get the prize!

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What's concidered excess?

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Oh, God! I don't even want to THINK about going there. My GRANDMOTHER? Having SEX? They didn't do that at the turn of the Century. The stork delivered us.

I can't even imagine what it would take to have thirty year old corpses having sex.

Crystal!

This is WAY over the line! And you guys are still unsure about bodypainting??????????

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haha! Scroll up old man! I was actually talking about your notice of the study done about women and vibes I may need to back away from the batteries or buy stock in Energizer

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*breathes a sigh of relief*

You had me worried for a moment.

--------------------

P.S. What is this "Old Man" shit? You're as young as you feel.

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cool! I'll take that as I should buy stock in batteries. hmmm, maybe I'd be better off with the rechargable kind

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The new rechargeables are the ONLY way to go. NiMH. Cheaper and much more versatile. You can take them out of the vibrator and put them in the camera. I will go no further.

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It's better to have enough batteries for both!!!

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"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

And some bodypaint.

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Tyler Hansbrough


We lost 64-68 last night to Illinois, but this kid can play! He is just a freshman, but at the very least, I hope we wont get our asses kicked quite that bad this season with him on the team. And we dont play Duke until Feburary, that gives you 3 months Mrs. M to prepare to come and watch the game up here.


......and i'm still ignoring..

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"You know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you would do for a Klondike bar." - Unknown

"What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad." - Dave Barry