Thread: Women

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee .

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box .

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week .

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl .

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton .


Keep reading-they get better !!! .




WOMEN'S REVENGE ! .

' Cash , check or charge ? ' I asked , after folding items the woman wished to purchase .

As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse .

' So , do you always carry your TV remote ? ' I asked .

' No , ' she replied , ' but my husband refused to come shopping with me ,

and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally ' .








UNDERSTANDING WOMEN ! .

( A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE )

I know I'm not going to understand women .

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax ,

pour it onto your upper thigh , rip the hair out by the root ,

and still be afraid of a spider .



CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS ! .

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles ... .

The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him .


She directs him down the correct aisle .

A few minutes later , he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of
string on the counter .

She says confused : ' Sir , I thought you were looking for some tampons
for your wife ?

He answers : ' You see , it's like this , yesterday , I sent my wife to the store

to get me a carton of cigarettes , and she came back with a tin of tobacco

and some rolling papers ; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper .

So , I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she .

( I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton ! ) .




WIFE VS. HUSBAND ! .

A couple drove down a country road for several miles , not saying a word .

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

neither of them wanted to concede their position .

As they passed a barnyard of mules , goats , and pigs ,

the husband asked sarcastically : ' Relatives of yours ? '

' Yep ' , the wife replied : ' in-laws ' ! .





WORDS ! .

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women
use a day ... 30,000 to a man's 15,000 .

The wife replied : ' The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything
to men .... .

The husband then turned to his wife and asked : ' What ? ! ' .



CREATION ! .

A man said to his wife one day : ' I don't know how you can be

so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time .

' The wife responded : ' Allow me to explain .

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me ;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you ! .



WHO DOES WHAT ! .

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

should brew the coffee each morning ... .

The wife said : ' You should do it because you get up first ,

and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee .

The husband said : ' You are in charge of cooking around here and

you should do it , because that is your job , and I can just wait for my coffee ' .

Wife replies : ' No , you should do it , and besides , it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee ' ! .

Husband replies : ' I can't believe that , show me ' .

So , she fetched the Bible , and opened the New Testament and showed him
at the top of several pages , that it indeed says ' HEBREWS ' ! .



The Silent Treatment ! .

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

and were giving each other the silent treatment .

Suddenly , the man realized that the next day , he would need his wife to
wake him at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight .

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence ( and LOSE ) , he wrote on
a piece of paper :
' Please wake me at 5:00 AM ' . He left it where he knew she would find it .

The next morning , the man woke up , only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he
had missed his flight . Furious , he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't
wakened him , when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed .

The paper said : ' It is 5:00 AM. Wake up ' ! .

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests .




God may have created man before woman , but there is always a rough draft
before the masterpiece! .

Originally Posted by Sunshine

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

should brew the coffee each morning ... Wife replies : ' No , you should do it , and besides , it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee ' ! .

Husband replies : ' I can't believe that , show me ' .

So , she fetched the Bible , and opened the New Testament and showed him
at the top of several pages , that it indeed says ' HEBREWS ' ! .

Can't argue with that one.