Visit the U.S. Politics Online Discussion Forum Archives!
Sponsored by:
 |
|
|||||||
| Welcome! / News & Announcements / USPO FrontPage Tell us about yourself and get to know others. Also, read any news and announcements. |
 |
|
|
LinkBack | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
05-01-2005
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
Quote:
It's Sunday, May 1, 2005 ====================================== Please Vote for your Humor Letter http://www.cumuli.com/ezine/vote.html?pub_code=40697 <<<<============= Thanks for your votes! Time to vote for YOUR newsletter! ====================================== Women demand their men to be reliable and predictable, mostly so that they can accuse them of being boring. -- Socratex ============================================ Thanks to Cookie for this story: Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just absolutely had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he wasn't felling well and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why would you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to brag to?" ============================================ Murphy came home drunk as a skunk for the third night in a row. Judi, his wife, dragged him to the window and pointed out to the blazing lights of the big distillery in the distance. "Do you see how big it is?" she thundered. "They can always make it faster than you can drink it!" "Maybe so, [hic]," he burped, "but I've got 'em working nights!" ============================================ Thanks to Joyce for this picture: ========================================= From Rick I had put in an 18-hour day at work and was upset to find my four-year-old Zack asleep in bed with my wife when I got home. Zack squirms so much it is impossible to get a decent night's sleep when he is with us. Exhausted, I collapsed into his bed instead, where I slept better than I had in years. The next morning, I asked my wife, "Why was Zack in bed with you?" "Oh," she replied, shrugging, "he wet his bed, and I was too tired to change his sheets." ========================================= Thanks to Deeli for this news clipping: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD, goes to alarmists in Clovis, New Mexico Armed with a loaded burrito April 29, 2005 - CLOVIS, N.M. - AP A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito. Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High. The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped in tin foil. "I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," school Principal Diana Russell said. State police, Clovis police and the Curry County Sheriff's Department arrived at the school shortly after 8:30 a.m. They searched the premises and determined there was no immediate danger. In the meantime, more than 30 parents, alerted by a radio report, descended on the school. Visibly shaken, they gathered around in a semi-circle, straining their necks, awaiting news. "There needs to be security before the kids walk through the door," de,anded Heather Black, whose son attends the school. After the lockdown was lifted but before the burrito was identified as the culprit, parents pulled 75 students out of school, Russell said. Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on. "The kid was sitting there as I'm describing this (report of a student with a suspicious package) and he's thinking, 'Oh, my gosh, they're talking about my burrito.'" Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her. "He said, 'I think I'm the person they saw,'" Russell said. The burrito was part of Morrissey's extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product. "We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos," Morrissey said. After students heard the description of what police were looking for, he and his friends began to make the connection. He then took the burrito to the office. "The police saw it and everyone just started laughing. Oh, and I have a new nickname now. It's Burrito Boy." ========================================= From David My mother once gave me two sweaters for Christmas. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one. As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, "What's the matter? You didn't like the other one?" ================================= From the Tech Support Pits: From: Roland Re: Yoyo in space Dear Webby, In the TODAY link,this is YoYo Day. It mentiones that Astronaut Jeffery Hoffman too a YoYo into space. I wonder how a YoYo works in space. Any ideas? Roland Dear Roland A YoYo works just fine in space. It works on gyroscopic force and on inertia. You probably have seen some YoYo players 'throw" their YoYo upwards or in any direction. Have FUN! Dear Webby ======================================== Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buying Dairy Buying Dairy When buying dairy, always buy the largest container possible. When buying perishables, like dairy, check the expiration date and make sure you will be able to use it before it expires. Especially with items like milk and eggs that are difficult to freeze. Don't pay extra for shredded cheese, you can buy a large block of cheese, grate the the block and freeze any that you don't think you will use quickly. Don't buy small yogurt containers when you can buy a large one for much cheaper. Take a calculator along and check the pricing. Some stores use an ingredient specific price code and just multiply that with the weight, without giving you a discount for quantity. If you are living not too far from dairy farmers, go visit a few. Almost 100% of them are quite disenchanted with the big dairies and will sell privately, IF you can promise reliable and predictable pick-up. If you can arrange a co-op deal with friends and neighbors, where a different one does the pick-up each week, that can work out to a dream deal. Just make sure that there is a designated alternate pick-up person in case somebody is sick or has car problems. Expect the deal to be cancelled if you 'forget' a pick-up. If there is a farmers market not too far away, you can usually arrange a fantastic deal with a "subscription", by promising to pick up for example a bushel box full of assorted seasonal veggies every week. As long as you don't forget to make the trip each week to go pick up the box marked Susan S., you can cut your veggie budget in half, plus have veggies left over to give to neighbors. The same as with dairy products, a co-op deal with friends and neighbors gets you an even better deal, plus it shifts the burden of the pick-up trip to a different driver each week. If you are the one who organizes a co-op, insist on every member paying one extra week in advance, their "Last Week", in case they come up with a sob story instead of cash some day, or in case a pick-up rendezvous is spoiled by an accident or road closure or whatever. That "Last Week" cushion saves you from having to frantically scramble for the cash and possibly getting into a bad mood about it. have FUN! Dear Webby Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes! The current prize that is up for grabs is a $30 gift certificate. If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: Vote for ThriftyFun http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ======================================== Susan S.'s colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock. When he was finally discovered, Susan S. and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called. A bit later, Susan S. noticed the door was closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and an unfamiliar voice from inside called, "Get me outa here!" "Don't worry," Susan S. replied, "Maintenance should be sending somebody shortly." "They did," said the voice.  (The man was Hannitized.)
__________________
'The Music of the Night' looking for 'The Phantom' or Gerard Butler http://phantomphan.net/ Nautical Prayers http://users.eastlink.ca/~grahamfamily/prayer.htm Lyrics of Madonna http://www.cs.rpi.edu/~kennyz/madonna_lyrics/HomePage.html 
|
|
05-01-2005
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
So you're also a "Phan" of the movie, Talahi? Geez, we could get along quite well.
Watitng for the two disc DVD set Tuesday, and I already own the "Deluxe" 2 disc soundtrack. Ben
__________________
To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. President Theodore Roosevelt 1918
|
|
05-01-2005
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
This is a introduce thread. There other threads for chit chaten
__________________
Have a Great Day And Smile.  Laughter is the best medicine Politicians and diapers need to be changed often and for the same reason.
|
|
05-03-2005
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
woops...I forgot to intriduce myself before I posted!
I'm an 18 year old college freshman in Allentown, Pennsylvania. I'm originally from Philadelphia. I'm a liberal and I am all for new ideas! I joined this forum for a school project. I follow politics but I'm new at debating about them. I hope to learn alot from everyone at USPO!! Thanks for having me!
|
|
05-03-2005
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
Quote:
|
|
05-03-2005
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
Hi, LauraC. Welcome to the forum.
|
|
05-04-2005
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
Quote:
|
|
05-04-2005
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
Quote:
__________________
843rd Bomb Wing - Strategic Air Command "Peace is our Profession" "Human law must rest its authority ultimately upon the authority of that law which is Divine. . . . Far from being rivals or enemies, religion and law are twin sisters, friends, and mutual assistants. " - James Wilson, U. S. Supreme Court Justice and Signer of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution
|
|
05-04-2005
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
Seems to be a lot of central atlantic east coasters here.
|
|
05-05-2005
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
I've already posted a little prior to this, but oh well...
Hello, I'm James aka emptypepsi. I go to school at the University of Texas in Austin, and am a first year Nursing School student and I plan to eventually attain my Masters. I joined this forum because politics are very intriguing to me, but reading the discussions alone is worth joining the forum (it can get quite funny to see how heated things get hehehe.) Anywho, that's about it. Thanks James
|
|
05-05-2005
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
Quote:
 Do you get alot of "Meet the Fokkers" jabs? Just kidding.  Welcome to the board.
__________________
There you are!
|
|
05-05-2005
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
Quote:
|
|
05-07-2005
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
Quote:
|
|
05-10-2005
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
Quote:
|
|
05-10-2005
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: The Introduce Yourself thread!
Hi i'm new here. Big forums by the look of it with a lot of posters and users!
Just a little about myself: I'm coming upto 25 now and am abroad (in London) now working here having used to live in D.C. I may be going back soon but for the mean time i guess i'm a Brit. Hopefully the forums will be better than the lousy nation that i'm in at the moment....
|
