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Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

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  • Blue Doggy
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    Originally posted by Good1 View Post
    Congratulations on your new diagnosis. As many have told us, "Doctors are not God and only God determines when it is our time to go."

    God blesses doctors with their skill and they do great work. But they are not He.
    Ah, we finally agree on something Good1. And what we disagree on, to me personally is of little importance.

    Thanks man. Believe it or not, I do love you, what I know of you, and nothing you can say will ever change that. It is unconditional.

    Leave a comment:


  • DavidSF
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    Congratulations on your new diagnosis. As many have told us, "Doctors are not God and only God determines when it is our time to go."

    God blesses doctors with their skill and they do great work. But they are not He.

    Leave a comment:


  • Blue Doggy
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    Originally posted by fishjoel View Post
    That's great Blue. I hope God uses this/you as a testimony of His grace.
    Personally I feel as if the cancer and the prognosis was more valuable than gold and silver.

    It took a great and mighty burden off of me, that I have carried around for most of my life. I am light now, and can move with ease in the life that is left. And unless one experiences it, no man can communicate it so that others understand fully.

    Once a man drinks of those Waters, everything changes drastically. For the better, which is an understatement.

    Man invents god. His brain invents it. And that god is not THE GOD. And if one worships that god invented by the brain, there are no living waters to drink of. The God I know of is not an invention of thought, and if thought invents it, that very act insures you will never know something so important. One had to deny all inventions of the brain, for if not, one will be deceived. Deceived by self made images. So, no image at all. An image is an insult to the Divine. For thought can never understand, but that which is not of thought will understand. I think one could use the words of Christ and communicate this within the Christian context, which is what I will do this Sunday.

    No man can love another as himself unless he finds something, a gift that is there for all to receive. Loving another as oneself is just an idea, a concept, unless something wonderful happens within consciousness. I now wonder if all dying people, who don't die suddenly, experience what I experienced? I don't know, but it is a question that I would like to know the answer to. But for me, it seemed to occur when I simply gave up and put everything, and I mean everything in the Hands of the Sacred, thereby dying to this self image which had been so important to me for most of my life. When my self image was out of the way, something else filled me. And its still here, that's the marvelous thing about it. In the background, running this show.

    Leave a comment:


  • Blue Doggy
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    Originally posted by Chloe View Post
    I was wondering...i mean (not to betray a confidence) but i was told (i suppose as one of the foremost Christian members of the site) to pray for you and what was going on and i kept wondering everyday whether i would see you on the site again. Every day that went by i was wondering "is it his last on the site...?" and i kept wondering if i should say anything but i was too gutless to do it. I was beginning to wonder if it was in recession as i had understood it to be terminal, but i am amazed you made a recovery / very happy for your family that they get those "few more years" with you, as you put it. Hey, who knows, maybe it will be decades more and on here, with everyone.

    Christ came through for you ; or maybe having seen you not ask for more time, he just decided to keep you on Earth some more to spite you. Either way, return and surrender to the Lord what is the Lord's and continue to do his work.

    Chloe xxxx
    Thanks for the kind words.

    There were times when I wondered if I would even get up the following day, but I always awoke, alive. But at that point I was completely fine with moving on and at times even hoped it would be sooner rather than later.

    Then I started to become stronger with each passing day, no longer lying in bed to read here and post. Soon I had weaned myself off the pain meds, which I had been told by non medical people would be difficult. It wasn't. I had stopped going to the doctor appointments before this, for I didn't want to be put back into a hospital again. I wanted more than anything to die at home, looking out the window at the trees and the birds in them each morning, and how the sky looked today. I was completely in the moment, no past, no future. Actually, I had little sense of the I at all. Unless someone came by to see me, then the I returned.

    It could return, or it may not return. I have none of the cancer today though, and today is all that matters. Sufficient is each day unto itself.

    All that I learned through this travail is so simple. There is in each man something that we never are aware of. It was revealed to me in my suffering, and it truly is some sort of Living Waters.

    I am going to the church I have attended since a child, this Sunday, to officially tell the congregation of the good news. And I will also tell them of the other "Good News" without leaving the tradition of Christianity, so they will perhaps understand. They might not understand what I find it impossible to really describe. One cannot really describe what love is either, so I will have to keep it within Christian context, using the proper terms that for them would make sense.

    My life is filled with an inexpressible joy, and has been ever since I got my appetite back, and the body grew stronger, which affected the mind as well. Yet even when I was heavily under the influence of Oxycotin, there was a part that was not affected by this very strong pain killer. It was there alongside the brain that was affected. Hard to explain really. But that part that was not affected is still here, and I wonder now how long it will stay, or if it will always be here. I now have the time to find out the answer to that question. Yet I feel that if that thing leaves, the joy that I feel all of the time will leave as well. But, when I gave up, and this thing came to me, I had a feeling that it would never leave me, ever. I know I am not making much sense...only a person who experienced it could understand what I am trying to express.

    Leave a comment:


  • Blue Doggy
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    Originally posted by reality View Post
    Excellent! I hope to harangue you on your politics for years to come you old so and so
    Oh, without a doubt sir.

    Leave a comment:


  • fishjoel
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    That's great Blue. I hope God uses this/you as a testimony of His grace.

    Leave a comment:


  • Chloe
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    Originally posted by Blue Doggy View Post
    I was supposed to succumb to this cancer I refused to take treatment for, last year. As of today, I am cancer free, and my doc said it is a miracle. For I had the nasty sort, the fast growing high grade. I knew something was up when I started to gain some weight back a few months ago. For the cancer had taken so much off, which was a good weight loss tool, but not the sort most want to use.

    I had put my affairs in order once I was given the prognosis year before last. So, all of the responsible things were done, and I just awaited death. As some here will find one day, when it is time to die, and one accepts it completely, a great burden is lifted off of the psyche, and there is no fear, and no suffering that death generally brings people. Acceptance involves facing those human fears that most people have. And for me, it was a spiritual experience, for it changed something in this mind, and I still live in that state. I did not pray for myself, I did not wheedle god for more time. I just accepted His Will, and was fine with whatever that Will turned out to be. And now, no cancer. I should be dead and buried already.
    I was wondering...i mean (not to betray a confidence) but i was told (i suppose as one of the foremost Christian members of the site) to pray for you and what was going on and i kept wondering everyday whether i would see you on the site again. Every day that went by i was wondering "is it his last on the site...?" and i kept wondering if i should say anything but i was too gutless to do it. I was beginning to wonder if it was in recession as i had understood it to be terminal, but i am amazed you made a recovery / very happy for your family that they get those "few more years" with you, as you put it. Hey, who knows, maybe it will be decades more and on here, with everyone.

    Christ came through for you ; or maybe having seen you not ask for more time, he just decided to keep you on Earth some more to spite you. Either way, return and surrender to the Lord what is the Lord's and continue to do his work.

    Chloe xxxx

    Leave a comment:


  • Commodore
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    I hope your cells continue to replicate themselves properly for many years to come!

    Leave a comment:


  • reality
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    Originally posted by Blue Doggy View Post
    I was supposed to succumb to this cancer I refused to take treatment for, last year. As of today, I am cancer free, and my doc said it is a miracle. For I had the nasty sort, the fast growing high grade. I knew something was up when I started to gain some weight back a few months ago. For the cancer had taken so much off, which was a good weight loss tool, but not the sort most want to use.

    I had put my affairs in order once I was given the prognosis year before last. So, all of the responsible things were done, and I just awaited death. As some here will find one day, when it is time to die, and one accepts it completely, a great burden is lifted off of the psyche, and there is no fear, and no suffering that death generally brings people. Acceptance involves facing those human fears that most people have. And for me, it was a spiritual experience, for it changed something in this mind, and I still live in that state. I did not pray for myself, I did not wheedle god for more time. I just accepted His Will, and was fine with whatever that Will turned out to be. And now, no cancer. I should be dead and buried already.

    For me personally this was like a fire that burns away the dross. So folks, miracles do happen, and while I do not understand them, the doc says indeed it is a miracle. And he doesn't understand it either.

    So now it seems my kids and grandkids will have a few more years with me, and I with them. Yet I always knew the end of this body was not the end of the spirit that resides in this physical organism. I know that as well as I know my own name.
    Excellent! I hope to harangue you on your politics for years to come you old so and so

    Leave a comment:


  • Quinn
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    Originally posted by Blue Doggy View Post
    Thanks guys! I only hope each of you see your own miracles. They do exist, no matter what some will believe. I am living proof. And for those that won't see one as I did, dying ain't really as bad as we think it is, if one uses it as a means to get "more real" in this deal called human existence.

    But I am not suggesting that anyone refuse the treatments as I did. So please, don't take it in that manner. It just wasn't the way I wanted to live, in the time I had left. That's all.

    The good news is, I divested myself of most of my property and assets, to my kids, and grandkids, so traveling from here on out will be a light load to carry. Plus, my future funeral is paid for and all of those costs involved. So, I am in good shape. Now they can use my life insurance for other things than paying for my funeral. My dad did the same, and that is how I was able to own my own business, making things that people had to have. I hope they use that money wisely as I did.
    WoW! That's great! Live light, TRAVEL LIGHT, spread the light, be the light!

    Leave a comment:


  • Blue Doggy
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    Thanks guys! I only hope each of you see your own miracles. They do exist, no matter what some will believe. I am living proof. And for those that won't see one as I did, dying ain't really as bad as we think it is, if one uses it as a means to get "more real" in this deal called human existence.

    But I am not suggesting that anyone refuse the treatments as I did. So please, don't take it in that manner. It just wasn't the way I wanted to live, in the time I had left. That's all.

    The good news is, I divested myself of most of my property and assets, to my kids, and grandkids, so traveling from here on out will be a light load to carry. Plus, my future funeral is paid for and all of those costs involved. So, I am in good shape. Now they can use my life insurance for other things than paying for my funeral. My dad did the same, and that is how I was able to own my own business, making things that people had to have. I hope they use that money wisely as I did.

    Leave a comment:


  • MattInFla
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    Great news. Congrats!

    Leave a comment:


  • tsquare
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    Good news Doggy!

    Originally posted by Blue Doggy View Post
    So now it seems my kids and grandkids will have a few more years with me, and I with them.
    Unless you get hit by a train... it happens.

    Leave a comment:


  • noahath
    replied
    Re: Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    Congrats Blue Doggy; that's awesome news!!

    Leave a comment:


  • Well, it looks like this cancer won't take me out....

    I was supposed to succumb to this cancer I refused to take treatment for, last year. As of today, I am cancer free, and my doc said it is a miracle. For I had the nasty sort, the fast growing high grade. I knew something was up when I started to gain some weight back a few months ago. For the cancer had taken so much off, which was a good weight loss tool, but not the sort most want to use.

    I had put my affairs in order once I was given the prognosis year before last. So, all of the responsible things were done, and I just awaited death. As some here will find one day, when it is time to die, and one accepts it completely, a great burden is lifted off of the psyche, and there is no fear, and no suffering that death generally brings people. Acceptance involves facing those human fears that most people have. And for me, it was a spiritual experience, for it changed something in this mind, and I still live in that state. I did not pray for myself, I did not wheedle god for more time. I just accepted His Will, and was fine with whatever that Will turned out to be. And now, no cancer. I should be dead and buried already.

    For me personally this was like a fire that burns away the dross. So folks, miracles do happen, and while I do not understand them, the doc says indeed it is a miracle. And he doesn't understand it either.

    So now it seems my kids and grandkids will have a few more years with me, and I with them. Yet I always knew the end of this body was not the end of the spirit that resides in this physical organism. I know that as well as I know my own name.
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